Kid Quotes

I was told I couldn't put this on my blog but it is just too funny.  I did promise not to use any names so here it is.  It's from a 4 year old boy.

"Mom, my penis wants to rule the world"

Mom: "No, your penis needs to stay in your pants!"

Dad: "Get in line behind every other guy!"

I couldn't stop laughing because everything has a little truth in it.

Kid Quotes

My co-workers' little 4 year old daughter was reciting the pledge of allegiance to her last night.  This is how it goes:
I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America
And to the republic WHERE WITCHES STAND one nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.

Isn't that just too funny?

Kid Quotes

A friend of mine told me this about her 8 year old daughter.

As I'm about to pick up a "sleeping" little girl to carry her into the house I say, "let's see how strong I am." To which she says,(still pretending to sleep) "make two trips."

 How cute is that?

 

Kid Quotes

My co-worker's second grade son was watching a group of Jr. High School kids who were waiting for the bus.  He said "Mom, they're just a whole new breed of idiot". She laughed and said "Where did that come from?"  He looked very puzzled and said "From me".

I would love to be in his brain for just one day.

Kid Quotes

Jackson, again:
"Jackson, how did you get refried beans all over yourself?"

"MAGIC!"

Kid Quotes

Oh, Jackson, Jackson, Jackson! 

My sister brought him into day care and he was covered with yellow paint.  He had a play date with a little girl from his class and they found the cans of spray paint in the garage.  They were both covered from head to toe.  She was able to get most of it off with lots of scrubbing and paint thinner.  When I asked Jackson why he spray painted each other yellow he said "Because the blue was empty."  You can't argue with that logic.

Kid Quotes

One of the first graders was talking with our preschool teacher this morning about his school.

H. "Do you know where my school is?" 
A. "No"
H. "Does your family know where it is?"
A. "My family doesn't live here.  They live in Arizona."
H."So you live alone?  That's sad.  You should come live with me."

So sweet!

Kid Quotes

The mother of one of our cute little 3 year preschool girls told me that this weekend they were in line at Target shopping.  They got behind an elderly lady who was very frail and thin and leaning on a younger woman to walk.  Her daughter asked very loudly "Mom, is she DEAD?"  It reminded me of one Thanksgiving several years ago when my youngest son was about 8 or 9 years old.  We were talking about everyone's age and he asked my mom (his grandma) how old she was.  When she told him he said very seriously "Wow, you must be almost dead."  We have never forgotten that and still tell mom that she is "almost dead"!

Kid Quotes

My daughter just called me and told me that my 6 year old grandson plays "America's Got Talent" with her.  He jumps around and does flips and then says "Am I going to Vegas?"  She says "Yes" and he cheers and yells "YES!!!!!!!!!!".  I wish I could see him do it. 

Kid Quotes

Jackson has been keeping us entertained today.  Here's what he has been telling us:

He fell down and scraped his leg.  His teacher wanted to clean it up and he told her "It's my speed owee.  If you clean it I won't be fast."

"My friend pushed me down with his super mind powers."  His teacher said "Your friend has special mind powers?"  He said "They aren't special, they're all lies!"

Kid Quotes

My 8 yr. old nephew at a baseball game.  "Mom, can I buy something at the confession stand?"

The couple sitting behind them had a good laugh and wanted to buy a confession too!

Kid Quotes

Where does the time go?  It's been 2 months since I've blogged.  Of course, I have been having fun with my grandkids and I forgot how much time it takes out of your day when you are taking care of children.  I have several kid quotes to share but I'm going to space them out.  Here's the first one and naturally it's from my nephew Jackson.  His mom was getting ready for work in the morning and this was before hair and makeup.  This is how it went:

Jackson: Mom, why are you so old?
Leisa: What do you mean?
Jackson:  Well just look at you!
Leisa: But Jackson, don't you think I'm beautiful?
Jackson: Not your face.  Just look at it.  You're old.

It's a good thing she loves him and he's so adorable.  That kind of comment first thing in the morning is sure to ruin even the best day.

Kid Quotes

This is from one of the precious little 3 year old boys in Ms.Britney's class.  He told her "My dad's name is Eric.  My mom's name is Honey".  At least his mom calls his dad by his name.  I've heard little boys say their dad's name was something unprintable before because that's what their mom calls him!

Kid Quotes

3 year old in Ms. Kami's class:  "My birthday is in Octember!"  I think that's the month after Septober!

This is the same little girl who brought a pink cupcake sprinkle to Ms. Kami and said "Look, I found reindeer poop!"  Ms. Kami said "Are you sure it's reindeer poop? It's pink."  She answered very seriously, "It's a girl reindeer."

Kid Quotes

Ms. Kate's class has a marigold growing in her window.  One of the flowers wilted and died and when she told the class it was dead one of the boys said "Can we make it feel better?"  Isn't that cute?  I wish that was the way things worked for real.

Kid Quotes

I spent the day with 32 kids at Craters of the Moon today.  One of my favorite kids is a little girl with Asperger's Syndrome.  She was totally into the whole experience.  She had her Jr. Ranger vest on with a matching hat and she brought her own guide book.  The best moment of the day was when we were taking roll and when we called her name she said "Could you just call me Jr. Ranger?"  And the worst moment of the day was when she hiked up to the top of a volcano and a big gust of wind blew her hat off and it went sailing into the next county.  She worked her way into a giant melt down.  After she calmed down we told her we would stop at the ranger's station on the way out and tell them to look for it.  It had her name and phone number in it so she's convinced they will find it and call her.  When we got back and her mom came to pick her up she wanted to e-mail the rangers right away.  Her poor mother probably got no peace until she did just that. 

Kid Quotes

I keep forgetting to post the adorable things my daughter tells me about my grandson Christian.  Last week he was cranky and irritable and she had finally had enough and sent him to bed.  He started crying and throwing his "Chichen Fits" but she is a strong mom and was sticking to her guns.  She took him to his bedroom to get him undressed and his crying escalated.  He promised he'd be good, he promised he'd behave, he promised he'd never do that again but she was firm and consistent and said he had to go to bed.  Then he clutched her sobbing, buried his head in her neck and pleaded "FORGIVE ME!"  How could she resist?  I don't know how she made it that far without caving in.  I know I would have given in long before that.  She forgave him and he was a perfect angel the rest of the night. 

Kid Quotes

I think I'm going to have to change my title from Kid Quotes to Jackson Quotes.  Tonight as he was going home he started crying.  Leisa asked him what was wrong and he said "You called me stupid head".  She said "I did not" and he said "Yes you did, you called me stupid head all day.  You said it on purpose."  After a few minutes he said "I'm just going to run away but I don't know the way to Riley's house!"  After this weekend with Riley's tantrums I don't think Andrea will go for that.

Kid Quotes

Today was fun and wet!  Mom, Leisa, Jackson and I went to 7 cemeteries to decorate graves and Jackson kept us entertained the whole time.  We were driving from Rexburg to Menan on the winding roads around the buttes.  The roads go back and forth and up and down and sometimes feel like a roller coaster.  After one especially quick turn Jackson said "Whoa, I didn't see that coming".  Where does his little 3 year old brain hear these things? And how does he remember EVERYTHING he hears?

Kid Quotes

OK here we go with Jackson again.  He has been upset all afternoon.  He keeps coming up to his teacher and telling her "They're calling me Cheeto!"  She talked to the little girl who was calling him "names" and she was calling him "Kiddo".  A few minutes later he was upset because he thought she called him "Burrito" so the teacher told the little girl "Let's just call him Jackson.  He doesn't like being called kiddo."  She said "But it's not a bad word" and the teacher agreed but told her Jackson doesn't like being called anything but "Jackson".  There is even a little boy who can't say his name right.  He calls him "Jaskon" and Jackson tells him over and over "My name is Jackson, not Jaskon!"  One of the other girls in the class said "It's OK if you call me kiddo".  Hopefully that will solve the problem.